the 10 things you need to build your dream house

I know what you’re thinking…

The #1 thing you need to build a house is money, right? Mucho dinero… Yes, you need a fabulous chunk of change to buy a piece of land and really, to have the audacity to build a brand new, luxury custom home on it.

But it’s not the most important thing you need. Hell, it’s not even in the top 10 most important things you need before you go on this journey of building.

What could possibly be more important?

Well, sit down honey, and pour yourself a stiff one, because the woo-woo, touchy-feely intangibles that are coming your way are likely the last things on your mind when you think of building your dream house. But as an interior designer who has worked with many couples on their new builds and helped them navigate what promises to be a potentially overwhelming process, these 10 things are incredibly important!

Without further ado, my dahlings… here are the 10 most important things you need to have in place before you embark on the journey of building YOUR luxury custom dream home!

Drum roll please….

Fast forward to two decades after seeing that La Jolla house, and the Doc (my husband and partner in crime throughout this fabulous adventure called life) and I were in our 2nd meeting with our new architects. We’d talked about houses we’d liked, of course, but didn’t want anything crazy opulent. Just something our two girls could grow up in with plenty of space for us to entertain, and lots of yard left for a large, gorgeous pool. But somehow, our incredibly talented architects from Hollenbeck Architects came up with this stunning design below. (And yes, if you need one, I highly recommend them - tell them I referred you!)

When we first saw their clean, contemporary design, I was speechless. If you know me, you know that ‘Quiet Tash’ is an oxymoron. But I was so struck with the magic of it all – the fact that somehow (how?) these architects whom we barely knew had, as their first draft, drawn a house that looked strikingly similar to those masterpieces I had fallen in love with years ago.

So dream, my little one, dream big. Dream crazy. Because those dreams will, somehow, form the building blocks of your new build’s design. It won’t look exactly the same. Or be the same. But there will be the most delicious sliver of a melody that connects them and only you’ll be able to hear that glorious tune…

(Btw, if you’d like to follow along on how an Interior Designer builds her own dream home, sign up for our newsletter below and follow us on Instagram. It’s going to be quite the adventure!)

How your house looks is NOT the most important thing. There, I said it.

If it LOOKS like a million bucks, but you FEEL like you’ll break something at every turn, you’re never going to relax in that space. And if you never relax in that space, well, it’s not HOME is it? If it LOOKS AMAZING, but you FEEL like it’s a cold, barren place that is unwelcoming, and all you wanted was warm and welcoming, then it’s not HOME, is it?

So first, think about how you want your home to FEEL.

This is a hard practice. Much, much harder than it looks. And it’s truly why I have the clients that I have: because I am able to translate how they want their homes to feel into a visual symphony of pieces and how they’ll work together.

Here’s a good place to start. Imagine walking up to your front door. See yourself opening that door; feel the weight of the door as you push it in. Now step into your entryway and stop for a moment. How does it feel to be home? Are you energized? Excited? Refreshed? Relaxed? Empowered? Calm?

I warned you this might feel a bit woo-woo! You still with me? Good. Because THIS is how interior design is done, my friends. This is how the magic is created.

Once you’ve done this a few times and you’ve got the feeling down, think about all the spaces you frequent throughout your day at home individually and imagine how you want to feel in each those spaces. Imagine walking into the kitchen and figuring out how you want to feel there. Imagine walking into your bedroom - what do want that space to evoke in you.

Spending time on this can really minimize the huge overwhelm of the countless design decisions required down the road. Because if you know how you want a space to feel, you’ll automatically reach for wall coverings or tile or floor that invokes that feeling. The design process becomes that much easier and flows so much better.

All this may sound great to you, but you’re wondering, how on earth does this play out? Well, I’m a walking example, my friend. The Doc and I lead incredibly busy lives by design. We run around like headless chickens! We love the adrenalin that comes from starting a new business, investing in property, and the excitement of a fabulous night out. We adore traveling to exotic new places and exploring new avenues. And we love hanging with our family – our two larger-than-life girls, Zig & Olive, and our cuter-than-any-dog-I’ve-ever-met puppy, Blue. Add to the mix that I love color and high contrast – vibrant bold hues and intense statement pieces, nothing wishy-washy or non-committal – and work in design all day everyday.

With all of this, you might assume I’d love to feel excited and energized when I walk into my home. Nope. On the contrary. With all the balls that I juggle at any given time, the only thing I want my home to feel like is a sanctuary. I want to feel like I’m on a beach in Bali, or some other tropical paradise, that is steeped with calm and has a rich tapestry of a history. I want to feel that my home has a sense of place, and as such, I have somewhere to belong. So I lean towards soft white walls, white linen curtains, coppery tones, mixed metals, rich brown leathers a mix of natural woods, lots of patina, distressed woods, velvet and other soft textured materials, and of course, always a nod to the blues and greens of the ocean.…

Before you begin this process, seriously consider whether you’d be better off finding a move-in-ready house, no major decisions necessary. Are you and your marriage really ready for these decisions? Is it worth it?

We both wanted an efficient house with as little wasted space (no random hallways or ridiculously oversized rooms) as possible, and specifically didn’t want the kind of Texas-sized master bathrooms where you could fit a sectional in the middle of your bathroom. Done and done. Oh, and we wanted the kids upstairs. Well, our architects did all that and more – they granted us our own, very private wing. Score.

Do you love your dedicated entryway where you can set down keys on your console table, take off your shoes while you sit on the bench or easily put away the inevitable mess kids bring home with them (backpacks, sneakers, raincoats, etc.) in the mudroom right there? Do you love how your guests have a ‘moment’ when they walk into your entry that sets the stage for the wow that is the rest of your house?

Or do you hate how your kids bedrooms are right above your own so that every time your little one gets out of bed and comes running down the hallway at 6am, you hear every loud footfall like it’s thunder?

Make your list of pain points and things you love about your house. And if you’re feeling it, think about what you’ve loved and hated about every house you’ve ever lived in. Write them down. Then arm yourself with this list when you meet with your architects to tell them what your space does and doesn’t have. It’s invaluable and will ensure that you spend less time going back and forth with your architects when they put something on the plan that you absolutely hated (and knew you hated, but never thought about).

You spent months researching and asking every friend you had if they knew the best Architect, Interior Designer and Builder for your house build. And after spending hours and hours poring over countless websites and all their Instagram feeds, and meeting a ton of them, you made your final choices.

You hired the Architect, Interior Designer, and the Builder that you loved best - your DREAM TEAM - because they have decades of knowledge and experience that you don’t. Now you have to remember that they are the professionals. They do this EVERY SINGLE DAY. They know how technical things work that you have no interest in learning about. And believe it or not, many clients have a tendency to question every single thing that they do. I see this happen every day.

I know it’s your house. And it’s hard to let go of the control. I get it, buttercup, trust me!

But once you’ve given them your pain points and dreams, once you’ve shown them your ideas, sit back and let them wow you. You won’t be disappointed. If they’re worth their salt, they’ll bring you a plan that is pure magic and you’ll only make tiny little tweaks because you simply can’t improve on something so good. Trust them.

I am not a flexible person. I am as rigid as they come. And as the doc will tell you, I’m a dog with a bone when I get an idea in my head – and I get a lot of ideas in my head, especially when it pertains to building my house. But I used to come out of our architectural meetings, shaking my head in wonder, saying ‘How are they so good? The house is just perfect! I would never have thought of doing that and I love it!’

I’ve learned that even with everything I know as an interior designer, I am not an architect and I see things very differently from them. Their ability to explore and visualize spatial relationships is nothing short of amazing, even to my visually developed sense of aesthetics. So if I can sit back, then darling, anyone can!

Let them do their work and let them work their magic. Stay open minded and flexible. Once you’ve done your research and assembled your the Dream Team of your Architect, Interior Designer and Builder, then trust them and let them work together to bring you the house of your dreams on a silver platter!

And it’ll feel like nothing is happening. Like nothing is progressing. But it is. It’s just a process and there are a whole host of moving parts that have to come together in concert to move on to the next stage. 

Case in point, the minute we bought our lot, we thought, ‘Yay, we’re ready to go!’

Nope. We were so far off. We didn’t know what we didn’t know.

Even as serial renovators – the Doc and I have gutted and put back together a little less than a dozen properties separately and together – and as an interior designer who has worked on countless renovations and new build consults, we had no idea what the pre-construction process from the absolute start felt like.

First, we had to get our elevation certificate, and our survey, and while we were waiting the three weeks it took to get those back, had to put in a call to have our gas and electrical lines ‘killed’ temporarily so that we could start demo, which took forever.

We thought that since we were so clear on what we want our floor plan and exterior elevation to look like – hell, we sent those to the architects before we even started, and the geniuses that they are took salient features and ran with it and created their own original masterpiece – we’ve agonized over So Many Little Things.

Like do we want the door to our 1/F Laundry Room to be in this hallway or through the Master Closet? Do we absolutely need to ensure our elevator shaft is wheelchair accessible in our future proofing (no one in our families use a wheelchair but it was a classic, what if?) Do we need a back door?  

And then don’t even get me started on how each week that we have to wait for our next architect’s meeting was SO agonizing! I mean waiting a whole week for those magicians to do their work isn’t a big deal, but I was always so excited to see what they had come up with next!

So if you have ants in your pants like we do, then get yourself a case of something good - actually get yourself a wine subscription (or something stronger). I know a good source, if you need one! ;)

So when I pushed back on the extra-large, two-person shower with multiple shower heads that they came up with and suggested that we were perfectly happy with our 4’ square shower with a single showerhead, I had to go right back a week later and say, actually, maybe you’re onto something. Because the Doc pointed out, we currently live in a house that was built eons ago and just because we’re smaller people, doesn’t mean that our next buyers would be and they might want a little more than a coffin to shower in and we have the space, so why not?

Which leads me to…

And if so, build in the essentials that that neighborhood expects so that you’ll be able to sell it quickly if you need to. Or at least, design a house that can easily be changed up in case you need to sell.

So check out the market and make sure you educate yourself on what is expected in that particular neighborhood.

• Is the house you’re planning to build going to be way too small for the neighborhood at 3500 sq ft when everything else is 6000 sq ft?

• Or are you building a 7-bedroom behemoth when the neighborhood is known for 4-bedroom homes?

• Or maybe you have an old-school smaller Master Bedroom on your plan, but most of the neighborhood has Masters that could fit in 8 king size beds or some other such ridiculousness?

So really weigh whether what you want and how you live is going to be benign enough to appeal to a wide market of buyers, if necessary.

If you’re planning on leaving this house in a coffin, then go for it – put in that crazy psychedelic tile pattern and build a mansion that has a single bedroom and looks like Darth Vader’s preferred domicile (true story – check it out here). But otherwise, try and toe at least some of the party line.

And once you have a floor plan, the designer can help you pick out everything, like:

• all the tile and how they all work together and in what patterns they should be laid out (so many tile choices!) to finding the right floors for each space,

• figuring out wall treatments and ceiling treatments, especially in the ‘wow’ areas that are meant to grab your attention and statement rooms

• kitchen cabinet design and layout from a functional and aesthetic viewpoint - a true custom design based on how YOUR family lives and uses the kitchen, as well as the right appliances for you

• placing your furniture to take advantage of your spaces and creating magical rooms from the get go, so that you can just press go and move in when the house is built.

The right interior designer can help make your life easier and your relationship more fun, because suddenly you have a professional in your corner who makes these decisions every single day helping you design the best house you can design. It is important that you find a designer who not only understands your style and how you need your home to function for you, but also works hard to unearth your story.

Check out my work and if you feel like I’m a good fit for your aesthetic, I’d be honored to help you create your dreamhouse. Reach out here and tell me about your project. But remember, I’m not the right fit for everyone - I’m very selective about the clients I take on and you should be very selective about the designer you work with. You’re going to spend a LOT of time with your designer and will need to let him or her into your life - so you must make sure you get along like a house on fire! I’m not the designer for everyone, but I am happy to help you find one that works for you, so reach out!

And another thing to remember: ALWAYS Tell A Story with your Home.

Love you, mean it!

xxx Tash

Loved reading this and want to turn your home into a space you absolutely adore? Then follow me @taashkistudios on Instagram and sign up for the Taashki Tribe newsletter below the comments! Write and tell me what you struggle with in your home design and I’ll help you through your design woes!